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Topic:
How to deal with narcissistic people?
anmaja
vip
anmaja
F 57 Netherlands
How do you deal with narcissistic people?

I know you can try to avoid them but that is just not always possible. I also believe that there are different types of narcissists. With some you can have a lot of fun because of their personality even if they are a narcissist. But with others you値l get very annoyed and irritated.
Always the first to speak, always an opinion about everything and I do mean everything!
Always believing in their own greatness and never hesitate to show that.

You can try in a nice way to give some hints but the narcissist cannot even imagine that hint is for him/her.

I知 in a situation right now I cannot avoid that person, so I wonder how would you deal with it?
on Dec 21, 2016 at 15:41:13
Replies:
marc62
vip
marc62
M 55 USA
If the person in question is pathologically narcissistic, the problem might solve itself, though perhaps in a very painful way. Just do a Google search on "idealize devalue discard". Read it and weep. A narcissist can seem like a friend now and become a very unpleasant adversary later on.
on Dec 21, 2016 at 18:50:10
cellador
cellador
M 40 United-Kingdom
You don't let them into your life.
on Dec 21, 2016 at 19:09:35
hope7dre
mod
hope7dre
F 57 USA
Topic moved from
"General Channel" to
"Love, Marriage and Relationships Channel"

Reason:

Since this is about relationships with others, it's been moved there.
on Dec 21, 2016 at 19:38:57
decardo
decardo
M 45 Australia
Straight of the old google im afraid
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
how to deal with them ??? carefully ??
on Dec 21, 2016 at 21:24:30
tony57
mod
tony57
M 59 United-Kingdom
Anmaja, I think decardo's Google definition hits on a deep truth. Perhaps your narcissist is one of the types you identify - a supreme egotist who knows that the world is lucky to have them and believes they have a responsibility to share as much as they can of themselves with the rest of us poor souls out here who weren't lucky enough to be born them.

But perhaps - and this is where decardo's comment is apposite - the truth is very different. Maybe they're in reality a sad, pathetic little individual, leading a lonely, friendless life, wracked with self-doubt as to their own worth. In that case the need to sound out and display opinions about everything could be a desire to assert their existence, and an appeal for validation of their views, and that what they stand for does mean something after all.

If the second were the case then maybe you should try and reach out to them, show them understanding and try to help them moderate their behaviour to something which perhaps doesn't quite so tick off those around them. Judging by your words in this topic, perhaps you've already tried that and were rebuffed or simply not understood.

Either way, if they irritate you that much, and if you don't respect them or their constantly expressed opinions, perhaps you should ask yourself whether they're really worthy of you feeling so infuriated by them. Try and simply treat them as background noise - one of those annoying facts of life we don't like but that it's impossible to entirely ignore however much we would like to, like death, taxes or Kim Kardashian. Hopefully then, in the words of one of my favourite humourists, Tom Lehrer, you'll find that you can tolerate them if you try.
on Dec 22, 2016 at 03:20:44
anmaja
vip
anmaja
F 57 Netherlands
Thank you for your comments!!

Maybe Decardo is right but the irritation reached a point I cannot (or will not) see that.

It痴 not possible for me to avoid that person but I think you are right Modfather, it is just a waste of my energy and I have to stop whining and act like that person is not there at all and if I知 confronted with that person I just close my eyes, at least I will try to
on Dec 22, 2016 at 10:07:14
isabel10
vip
isabel10 Online
F 65 France
We cannot discuss with narcissic persons !They are in THEIR OWn WORD SO .....
on Jun 20, 2017 at 17:57:56
newbeat
mod
newbeat
M 55 USA
They have a way of sucking others in to their side, showing them support. Eventually they burn out most any friendships, but not before making each a but miserable. On websites, such indivifuaks can be successful trolls for a few months before the powers that be realize the truth.

Myself, all I can do is alienate them. I won't feed their need for attention.
on Sep 13, 2017 at 03:31:06
catnoir
vip
catnoir
F 29 United-Kingdom
I agree that narcissists can take many forms and are also often so self absorbed that they are also toxic people. I recently had the misfortune of meeting one such person and I'm happy to say I had a lucky escape.

Oh, and how to deal with them - don't get taken in by their fantastical world view and false representation of self.
edited: 1 time | on Sep 13, 2017 at 17:15:05
outlier
outlier
M 67 USA
Walk away when you can, ignore when possible and silence when you can not. Good Luck. There must be some evolutionary advantage but darn if I can think of one.
on Sep 13, 2017 at 19:28:24
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